Getting Old Is A B- - - -

This one is for anyone who is interested.  Just so I don’t have to “tell the tale” over and over.

I’m not sure how to start it, so I will just go with chronological.

7/21/2011 3pm:               Went to the emergency room at Kaiser Permanente Zion Hospital with severe pain and swelling in the groin area (and below).  After 7 hours of tests, they sent me home with antibiotics and painkillers.

7/22/2011 10am:              Returned to the emergency room with unbelievable pain and increased swelling.  After another 7 hours of tests the doctor told me he could send me home with a different antibiotic or admit me to the hospital.  Thank God I went for the hospital.

7/22-24/2011:                            The next 2 ½ days were filled with tests, including ultra-sound(3 of them).  Bouncing sound waves off an infection & abcess in that, already very sensative, area brings new meaning to the word “excruciating.”  To her credit, I could see the emotional pain it(my pain) was causing the operator of the equipment.  A lot of prayer time was used up in those few days.

7/24/2011 2pm:               Finally on Sunday afternoon, after a visit with the Infectious Disease doctor, the doctor from Urology came in and we discussed our “options”.

Option #1:   Continue trying to treat the problem with just antibiotics.  It turns out antibiotics can’t get past the threshhold of an abcess. Very possibly have to have surgery, anyway.

Option #2:   Go in for surgery immediately to remove the abcess, damaged - - - -, and surrounding tissue; then treat with more antibiotics.

Disregarding my natural male instinct to go with Option #1, in a vain attempt to protect what was mine, I went with Option #2 … Once, again Thank God.

7/24/2011, 6pm:     Surgery to remove one - - - - and the surrounding infected tissue.

7/25-28/2011:                  Three days of phasing in and out of reality due to medications of all kinds.   WARNING:  Stay away from Percocet!!!  It can make you crazy, literally.

7/28-present/2011:           Home to the best nursing care in the world, my wonderful wife.

8/5/2011, 7am:       Back to work a week too soon.  Wish I could have waited the recommended extra week.

Did I mention, for those of you who are uninitiated, that, while in the hospital:

#1:  Three times a day they stab a vein somewhere on an arm or hand to “draw” blood?

#2:  They wake you up every two hours, on the hour, to take your blood pressure, temperature, and (as I’m a diabetic) prick your finger to check your blood sugar.  If your blood sugar is too high, they also stab you with an insulin injection 15 minutes later.

#3:  Every two hours, on the half-hour, they make you turn back-to-side or side-to-back.

#4:  In the intervening time they keep waking you up to ask how you are or to try to get you to eat the most tastless cardboard on earth.***

#5:  Whatever happened to “Get Some Rest!” ???

*** When I, eventually, realized I could order specific items, not on the “list”.

I finally got edible food.

Recovery is a long road and mostly uphill.  I am a very impatient patient.  The worst part of recovery is waiting until it’s “safe” to do the things my mind & body are demanding I try.  Especially when I realize that some of the long wait times are medical CYA.

As Forrest Gump said:  “That’s all I got to say about that.”

(You’ll have to mentally ‘hear’ the accent)