1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
5. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
6. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
7. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call and ask if they meant you or them.
8. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
9. Angelina Jolie adopted a child fromAmerica
10. Parents in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
11. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
12. A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking intoMexico
13. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
14. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
15. The Treasure Island Casino inLas Vegas
16. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
17. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center inPakistan
2. Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
5. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
6. I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
7. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call and ask if they meant you or them.
8. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
9. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from
10. Parents in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
11. My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
12. A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into
13. A picture is now only worth 200 words.
14. When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
15. The Treasure Island Casino in
16. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
17. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.
Some of these items seem like GOOD things-- especially numbers 4,9,and 10. Thanks, Red!
ReplyDelete@Sheila Thanks for the comment. Most of them were tongue-in-cheek.
ReplyDelete